consumerist

Thomas The Tank Engine OF LIES

If you're like me you have a toddler in the house. And like me you have come to tolerate at least a few of the big names in children's media such as your Mickey Mice and your Curious Georges. TV is a rare treat in our house, but last week Eddie was sick and we were in survival mode. So we drove to the local media dispensary to purchase a distracting video disc.

I don't know about you, but when I make DVD purchasing decisions I rely on specialists to find quality: the critics. I don't have to watch hundreds of hours of children's programming when the voice of critics can be distilled down to their essence on the DVD packaging itself. And what better review is there than, "A Roller Coaster Ride of a Movie!" Faced with all possible choices, we picked up what the critics lead us to believe was an action packed adventure with Thomas the Tank Engine called The Great Discovery, containing that very blurb at the bottom:



I was looking forward to sharing an afternoon of singing British children and roller coaster-like adventure with my son until I got a closer look at that packaging at home:



You might be thinking, "Oh! I wonder what well-respected children's magazine this critic Topham Hatt writes for?" Let me burst your media bubble: "SIR" TOPHAM HATT IS A CHARACTER IN THE SHOW! It's like quoting Yoda to sell The Phantom Menace: "Like this movie, you will!"

We haven't watched The Great Discovery yet, but I'm sure it'll be just fine. Maybe Sir Topham Hatt keeps his acting hat walled off from his editorial hat. Seems like a fairly blatant conflict of interest to me though.